Being who we want to marry--revisited

I need to revisit this topic, mostly because it’s still coming up in discussions E and I have, most recently today.

There are great people in this world that feel they are “owed” a spouse. They feel that they are “good people” and since “everyone else” is married that they “deserve” to be married too. Note my really heavy use of quotes because the use of all of these words and phrases in their arguments are opinions.

Who says we’re “good people?” Who is included in the statement that “everyone else” is married? Why on Earth would you “deserve” a spouse (or fill in the blank with anything else you desire) more than any other person?

I’ll repeat my belief that you need to be the person you want to marry. You need to try to live the life that you wish to share with your partner while you are alone. Your partner is just that—your partner. Your partner is not your savior. Your partner cannot fix the defects in you or fill the empty, hurt places. They are not God.

Your partner can complement you certainly, your partner can enhance life and share burdens and joys—but you must be your own complete you first. You need to live life like you (and God) are going to be alone and fine real peace there. You have to find happiness there. You need to know joy there. You need to have peace of mind. You need to live the life God intends for YOU to live. You.

Then and only then will you be ready to share this blessed and full life with another person who was specially set apart for you.

Random odds and ends (part 5)

Of all of the posts that no one has commented on, I have to say the one that disappoints me the most is the one about good husbands versus good fathers. I’d really like to ask folks (especially the married lurkers who read this blog) to rethink whether or not they should comment on that post and decide that they should (and then post a comment here and let us know you did).

I found out today that Massachusetts man lives with his 78 year old mother who has some sort of dementia that they are still trying to diagnose (I knew about the dementia, but asked him who she lives with today). His other siblings are significantly older than him (he was a late in life surprise!) and he is her primary caregiver although some of the other siblings are around and do help. He seems to have no concerns about certain things like, who’s going to stay with his mother if and when he comes to see me (well, I assume he has no concerns about that since he can already quote me the price of a round trip plane ticket to Philly). One thing I admire about him is that he really does put his complete trust in God in ALL things. That is one thing that I can stand to learn from him on.

The Eagles are disappointing me. However, I have a newfound respect for the Giants and their great win against Dallas last night.

I heard a guy friend of mine got offended on some deep level that I went to the Nick Lachey concert. His offense was revealed only after Jeanine commented how good looking she thought Nick Lachey was in front of said friend and her husband Andy.

Another good thing in the long list of good things I have found about having the digital cable and On Demand is that MTV On Demand offers a couple of old Newlyweds episodes for my viewing pleasure at all times.

My Massachusetts penpal

I am still e-mailing the fellow that I met on Ave Maria Singles that I mentioned a little while ago. He still lives in Massachusetts. Not that I expected him to move in the past couple of weeks, but the distance still bothers me some.

I actually stopped e-mailing him for a little while. I let him know I was going to do so. Well, actually, he suggested I take a break to regroup since I was feeling overwhelmed with all my other stuff and was traveling and was sick and was feeling bad that I simply wasn’t having the time that I felt was needed to write this kind man some meaningful e-mails on any kind of regular basis. He told me that people get busy and get sick and that doesn’t mean we should stop corresponding but simply means that I need to get better and get back on track and try again. I appreciated his reaction. So, just this week we resumed our e-mailing.

We haven’t spoken yet and that is fine with me. I am not in any rush (hey, if I was in any kind of “rush” with my life, I’d have married somebody by this point!)

I have met a few other men online in my lifetime (but you guys know that in general I don’t really work the online dating thing very hard). I have only really gotten to know three of them and only met two of those three. I had a relationship with one of the two (that ended obviously!), but in all three cases I think we rushed to the phone and I believe there is something to be said for writing to one another for a healthy clip of time and get to see what the other person can put forward in a comfortable, safe environment where you have the opportunity to really compose your thoughts so that you have a little background and basis before talking to one another. I do think it allows for a more comfortable progression.

I feel decent about this guy (if I keep on corresponding with him we here are going to have to come up with something to call him so I don’t have to call him “this guy”), he seems to have many of the qualities I am looking for, but I am no fool either. I am not a person who believes you can have a boyfriend or girlfriend you have never been in the same room with. I do believe you can get to know a person without seeing him/her and you can begin to develop feelings for them through your e-mails and conversations, but those feelings and the actual relationship can really develop only after you share one another’s company.

Does anyone feel differently about this?

Does anyone have a story to share in this vein?

Train wrecks

Throughout my life I have sometimes been viewed in a negative light because I refuse to support people’s bad decisions.

Now let me be clear in what I am saying. I don’t support people’s bad decisions. That does not mean that I do not support my friends. It simply means that I will not stand by and support bad choices. I can’t pretend that a clearly awful choice is good, and I won’t. It’s simply not right.

I would want someone I care about to start yelling if a speeding train was about to hit me so that I could get out of the way. I do the same for my friends. They sometimes just don’t want to hear the yelling because that “train” is something that they don’t want to admit might hurt them. So be it. Grown adults are allowed to choose what they want to do. But that doesn’t mean I won’t still yell for them to get out of the way. And that doesn’t mean that I have to stand there and watch them get hit.

One thing people can’t call me is a fake. You always get the truth with me in one way or another. Some people (one person in particular who reads this blog is one of them from what I’ve heard, but it doesn’t bother me so please don’t feel weird!) like to say that I say what people want to hear. I don’t agree with that, but, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I love my friends. I support people. I pray for people. I can “get behind” a lot of kooky ideas if it’s something someone feels strongly about. I cannot get behind bad choices that will ultimately hurt the person I care about or others. I apologize to those of you who know that this applies to you, but you must know the truth.

As we near the end of 2006, I have to say that this year has been a pretty significant year of “cleaning house,” so to speak. I am not a person who believes that because you are friends with someone at one point in time that they are meant to be your friend forever. We must always assess the viability of relationships, their health, and their focus.

I have let go of people who just weren’t “with” me anymore. I wish them all nothing but the very best and every blessing from God. Believe that. It’s true. There is not one ounce of anger or bad blood, just release.

Do you have people who need to let go of? Any toxic relationships that just don’t bear the fruit they used to? Think about it, pray about it. You are allowed to say good-bye. That doesn’t make you a bad person, that doesn’t make you unholy. It makes you a real human being, who, at the end of the day, is doing something good for the both of you. Your energies will be better spent on yourself, your Lord, and the people who really need you.

All apologies...

Thanks to Jim for finally being the one to let me know that I had accidentally switched the comment enabler off and everyone was being told they had to be "approved" before their comments would go through. That should be fixed now, so comment away!!

No wonder I haven't had a single comment in so long!

If anyone notices anything weird again, please just e-mail me at the regular e-mail address to let me know! Thanks!

Oh, and Jim, I do still want to know about good husbands and fathers...

Caution--Work in progress!

I am realizing that I still have such a long way to go. I always tell people that I am one of the biggest works in progress that God has going and I think people often just think that I’m trying to be cute or falsely humble, but I’m really not. I mean it.

I still like to be in control too much. I like having all the answers.

See, I am the person that people come to for answers. I am the one who they seek out for advice. I love being a source of help and strength to others—it’s one of the greatest blessings in my life. However, when I don’t know something, I hate it. I don’t mean that in a know-it-all fact kind of way, but just in a general life process way. I don’t like not knowing what my future holds. The rub is that I am perfectly happy knowing the Lord has it all planned out and I am 100% confident that no matter what happens in the future, that the Lord will use every situation for my ultimate good, even if bad on the surface, but I still want to know what. I find tremendous joy in all that I have in the present. I just want to know what’s going to come in the future.

See? I still need to work on my relationship with God. God still needs to work on me.

I'll Take What's Left of Him...

Last Sunday Kathy and I went to her family’s house in Ocean City, NJ and spent the night. The weather was totally gorgeous and we had a good time. It was kind of a “last hurrah” weekend there and all of the boardwalk merchants had big sidewalk sales. We just walked up and down the length of the boardwalk and shopped. I actually got a few Christmas gifts out of the way! It was one of those days where I literally had not a care in the world. Time wasn’t important—I was totally focused on the moment I was in. It was really great.

The Eagles game started at 4 and we got back to the house in time to watch the first half. At the end of the first half the Eagles were losing by a few points but we have to leave to head into Atlantic City to see Nick Lachey.

On our way there, Kathy took me to see Lucy the Elephant in Margate. I had never heard of Lucy before (my family is a Cape May/Wildwood family, so I’ve never been to Margate) Lucy’s a big elephant that used to be a hotel and now you can take tours inside her and whatnot. It was weird, but interesting to see.

I was very excited to see my love Nick Lachey, however, once we were in our seats I realized I’d have to go right on waiting to see him because he had not one, but two opening acts. One of the opening acts was the “jilted Annie.” (She was cast as Annie on Broadway some years ago and then right before it opened she was replaced by her understudy. I believe she either planned to sue or did sue). Her name is Joanna, or, as I like to call her “Jo-Annie.” (I just love being corny!)
Finally, Nick came out. It was a good show—he even took us way back in time and sang a couple 98 Degrees songs. He congratulated us on the Eagles winning (I already knew they won because I text messaged Jarred to find out during one of the opening acts). The crowd was good, not many little girls at all—in fact I only saw one group of six little girls. (They surely didn’t know any of the 98 Degrees songs!) They were with four grown women (I guess some of the moms?). One of the women needed to be part of my shawl ministry I discussed a couple of months ago because her chest was almost completely exposed—not the best influence for six little girls, I wouldn’t imagine, but I’m going to try to not judge. It did catch mine and Kathy’s eye though—whether we wanted it to or not. I suppose that was her goal from the start anyway (well, maybe not to catch our eye, but to catch someone’s eye). There were a lot of mother/daughter duos (women around my age and their moms) and there were far more men than you would have ever imagined. There are lots of really good boyfriends and husbands out there!

Also, I just love The Office. I thought I would randomly throw that out there.

Have a great weekend!

Trying to catch up...

I am so many stories behind in talking to you guys! I can’t believe that I am just now finally getting around to telling you guys about my visit to CT to visit LC and Darryl. Time flies and I have been running around a lot, but in a much more relaxed way than a few weeks ago, for sure!

So, I came home from Chicago at 12:30 AM on a Friday morning. I was off that day and rested up and then by 9am the next day I had to be at my first class for my diocesan certification in youth ministry. The class was from 9am to 3:30pm and then directly from class I drove to CT.

I got to see the usual cast of characters and I loved it. Over the many years that I have known and loved LC, I have met all of her family and dear friends, so know them all very well. Something that totally warms my heart is the fact that LC’s friend from high school, Andria ALWAYS makes sure she gets to see me when I go visit. She drives a distance (now that LC is in CT and not in NY anymore) to spend time with me and I am just always so touched by that.

I got a glimpse of their mean neighbor. I literally ducked when I saw her because I didn’t want to risk her identifying me with LC and Darryl and slashing my tires too. What a coward move on my part!

We went to see LC’s sister and brother-in-law, their little girl Daniella, and their brand-new baby girl, Gabriella. I love seeing babies when they are brand-new. It’s a shame because Robin does all the hard work of delivering these babies and both of the girls look exactly like her husband. That figures! There is hope though because I looked like my mom when I was little and now as an adult I look like my dad, so the girls can change!

On Sunday while I was there, LC took me to my very first Yankees game. I got to see Yankees stadium and it was perfect. It wasn’t too warm and no one who had tickets around us showed up so we weren’t crowded or anything. It was raining the whole time we drove there, but then the sun came out and it was beautiful. I have a certain baseline level of interest in sports, but this baseball game did exponentially renew my interest in Derek Jeter!

The game was great alone time for LC and I to chat. After the game we went to her parent’s house and they took us out to dinner. Now that she is married and no longer lives near her parents I rarely get to see them, so that was a huge treat.

I drove home on Monday morning after rush hour was over. A great trip all the way around.

Next time, I have to tell you guys all about the Nick Lachey concert!

Today is my dear daddy’s 59th birthday. Please say a prayer for him today that he have good health and happiness.

Back and better than ever (sort of)

Usually I like to say to people that “I’m back and better than ever” when I see them or speak to them after an absence. The problem is that right now I am not feeling “better than ever” and I attribute it solely to the fact that E and I were sitting on planes going nowhere for hours on end (literally) during our trip to and from Chicago. I have a cold, and I never get sick, so I needed to find something to blame this on! I’m a little cranky right now.

(I also have a lot to say about my trip to visit LC and Darryl, which also occurred over the past week, but I’ll focus on Chicago here since that trip came first.)

We flew United and let me tell you that they have never been good to me in terms of timeliness. At the gate were told that the flight out to Chicago was on time. We all got on the plane and once we were seated and belted in we were told that our “wheels up” time was not for another hour and 20 minutes. If anything good was to be gained from us sitting in stale air with no ventilation or circulation all that time, was the fact that E and I were given the gift of a new catch phrase. We now use “wheels up” to refer to something good or cool behavior. On that flight, at least E and I were across the aisle from one another so we could talk and whatnot.

In Chicago, we stayed at a great hotel downtown. We had some light dinner and then we went out. E had researched where to go on a Wednesday night so we had some good leads. The first place we went to was closed. The second was dead, but the bartender there was very cool and he told us where we should go instead. He was Lithuanian, so E and he spoke a little bit of Russian to one another. We went to a place he told us about and we had a really good time. The next morning, we walked all around the downtown area and I really realized for the first time that they don’t call Chicago the “windy city” for nothing!

Our meeting went well, and then we were heading back to the airport. The same fellow who picked us up from the airport also drove us back. We were in a lot of traffic, so he and E spoke at length about music and it turns out that our driver was a pretty well known DJ named Lee Farmer.

Going home we ran into delays due to weather trouble back in Philly. Again we were trapped sitting on the still plane. This time, I was sitting behind E, so couldn’t speak to him. A Protestant pastor sat next to E and the two of them spoke almost literally without stopping, the entire way home. E wonders why he prays to God for a Jewish wife and all God gives him are Christians.

Does a good husband make a good father?

I have been thinking about the following for a while now and would love some feedback. Of my friends, I’d say about half of them are married and about half of them are still single. What I have observed over the years is that a lot of times, we are seeking out a great partner—someone who will be good us as a spouse and in the back of our minds we wonder what kind of parent they would be, but really have no way of knowing for sure.

I never really thought much about it when I saw folks getting married over the past several years, but I think about it more now that I see people having kids.

Does a good husband necessarily make for a good father? Does a good father necessarily make for a good husband?

I know that the answer to both questions above is sadly, no. What a disappointment that must be if you wind up with one and not the other. Which is more important at the end of the day? Should a woman be willing to sacrifice having a great husband for the sake of her kids? Should a woman have to bear the brunt of playing the role of both parents if her husband is a good husband but isn’t the greatest dad or disciplinarian we’ve ever seen? (Guys, of course this all goes for wives too, I’m just speaking from my point of view.)

Do you ever really get both--a great husband and a great father? It’s a valid question, I think, and something to think about. I have been, more and more…

Grey's Anatomy

Am I the only person on God's earth who could not care less about Grey's Anatomy?

Call me prudish if you will, but does no one else think twice about the fact that a nation full of women (and some men, for that matter) are rallying around a man who cheats on his wife (I do realize his wife cheated on him too, as I heard someone try to justify it on the radio this morning, but when did two wrongs start making a right?)? Not to mention the rest of the characters!

Are we all flawed? Of course!

Should we not judge? No!

But should we choose to rally around dysfunction? Should we make heroes out of adulterers?

That's my question for a Friday. I am sure some of you watch the show and if you enjoy the show, that's fine and I respect that. I am just curious about how you see things on the larger scale...

Does this mean I want us to go back to the days of Lassie? Not at all, but I just wouldn't classify an adulterer as "McDreamy..."

Random odds and ends (part 4)

I am a busy bee at work while I am trying to take care of as much as possible with the rest of my staff before E and I head to Chicago. Part of that is because right after the Chicago trip I have a day of rest and then I am heading to LC and DJs. On top of it, trying to motivate E to think about what he wants to do during our down time in Chicago is no easy task. He's far more laid back than I am.

While visiting LC and Darryl, LC is taking me to a Yankees game. It will be my first Yankees game ever. LC, on the other hand, is a die-hard fan. She has had season ticket packages for a number of years, although, as we get older and our responsibilities have become greater, she has subsequently gotten ticket packages for fewer total numbers of games. LC has already informed me that she never leaves games early (I tend to get bored easily) and that since it’s now Fall it likely will not be too warm sitting there all that time so I should be fine (she knows I despise being hot). This lady knows me very well. The upside is that LC is willing to talk during baseball games, so I won’t have to sit quietly. It will actually be great alone time for us to sit and catch up on everything we have going on with no Darryl (and that’s no offense to Darryl at all, but it’s nice to have “girl time!”)

LCs sister Robin also just gave birth to her second daughter on Sept 12 (the same day as Britney Spears’ new baby!), so I will get to meet the baby while she is still “brand new!”

I’d like to ask for everyone to keep Linda in prayer as she begins to look for a new job. She recently resigned from her current job, which offered her a pretty bad work environment where communication was low on everyone’s priority list, unfortunately. We also should pray for Jarred, who is on the verge of being diagnosed with strep throat for the third time in a relatively short period of time. If it is indeed strep, the doctor said they will want to take out his tonsils.

Helping new Catholics/Helping myself

I am helping out with the RCIA program at my parish this year and we met for the first time on Monday. RCIA stands for Rite for the Initiation for Christian Adults and is the process that interested individuals undertake to become a Catholic. It’s a fairly long process; the amount of time a person will have to attend RCIA really depends on the person and the priest or other person teaching the classes.

Most people (at least in my parish) who begin RCIA now will be able to become a member of the Church at the Easter Vigil mass next year (provided they are not waiting for annulments, etc). This year, so far, we have two women who were baptized and received first Holy Communion, but who were never were confirmed; so no real "converts." We’ll see who else comes on board before our pastor closes the class for new people in October or so. I have long admired people who convert to Catholicism because they "choose" it and they wind up being very knowledgable due to the process and the study.

My pastor is teaching the classes and I really enjoy listening to him. He knows the teachings of the Church and Church history VERY well and is a good teacher. Although I already know a lot of what he is teaching I really feel like I can’t hear it enough. It ingrains it more in my mind and helps to make my discussing it with others easier and more natural. God willing, I will be attending the class every Monday. My friends Cathi and Terry are attending the class as well (Terry has helped with RCIA for the past several years) and I think my main function will wind up just being another “student” to help the two women taking the class who don’t know anyone or perhaps don’t know a lot about the Church feel more comfortable. One of the women in the class is around my age, so I think it may help her to see someone her own age is a part of this as well.

I am happy to report that I have essentially totally cleared my schedule for this weekend so that I can catch up on needed rest. I had meetings every night this week and we have a youth group meeting with the teens on Sunday night so I need my time to decompress and stop having to “think” and “do.” As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I have been struggling with being spread a little too thin recently and have been making some decisions about what leadership roles I need to let go of in order to be able to have “me” time. I have let appropriate parties know, so I should slowly start to see a sense of normalcy return. Whatever that is!

Have a great weekend everyone! God bless you.

Skiing (or lack thereof)...

Today’s post was borne out of the fact that I woke up around 4am this morning (I fell back to sleep within a half hour) and this funny memory came into my mind. Steph will enjoy it because she was a part of it.

I have only skied once in my life. It was my sophomore year of college and a group of us went with a day trip sponsored through our campus.

I had never skied before and neither had Steph. Therefore, once we got all of our gear we took the little lesson they give all of the beginners. It did not do us much good because right after the lesson, as we tried to “walk” away on our skis, we both immediately fell down. We lay in the snow, on our backs like two turtles, and just laughed and laughed. We laughed so hard that we could not get up. People just proceeded to go around us and ignore us, but then finally, one of the guys on the trip with us came up to us (his name was Sergio) and looked at us with a look of disgust/pity and helped us both get back on our feet/skis.

We finally managed to get to the ski lift, which we took to the top of the bunny mountain. As any of you who ski know, when you get to the top of the mountain the lift just kind of “drops” you off. Well, when we got dropped off the two of us wound up on our butts again, laughing and laughing. People getting off of the lift that were behind us had to maneuver themselves around us. What a disaster we were, but I really remember just laughing so hard I was crying.

Luckily, we managed to get ourselves up that time and then we approached the top of the mountain. For me, my first run was total trial by fire because as I stood at the top of the slope, looking down, I began to slide down the mountain and I just wound up “skiing” (if you can even call it that), screaming at the top of my lungs, down the mountain. I was completely out of control. After the first hundred feet or so, I fell, both skis came off, my poles flew in opposite directions, and my earmuffs flew in another. I looked like Charlie Brown when Lucy pulls away the football as he’s trying to kick it and he flies in the air and everything flies off of him and he winds up in his underwear.

I gathered everything up, put it back on, and proceeded down the mountain for another hundred feet until the same thing happened again. I proceed to do this the entire way down the mountain until I reached the bottom. I had no idea where Stephanie was at that point!

I eventually got a little better as the day went on, but never enjoyed myself. I don’t like the “out of control” feeling. Funny thing is, I did snowboard years later, and I did like that more—I think because I had both feet on one board as opposed to two feet on two!

Back to school time!

Here is a cute back-to-school picture of my very good friend that lives in Ohio--he's the son of my other very good friend Trish--both of whom you've read about before. He was very excited for the first day of school, as you can see!

I LOVE this time of year--when the heat starts to subside and it gets darker earlier. I love it!

I was wondering if any of you are familiar with downtown Chicago, and if so, if you could recommend a restaurant for E and I when we are there at the end of the month. I have been to Chicago a handful of times for business over the years, but never really in the actual "downtown" area. Let me know!

Itsy bitsy spider...

You know what I realized, dear readers? No offense, but I’m not doing this blog thing for any of you. I’m doing this for me and the Lord.

That said, I am back and I got great news that Jim’s mom is on the mend and that, in fact, her lung is in even better shape than it was when she first entered the hospital. Thank you for your prayers.

When Jim e-mailed me that good news, he also e-mailed me this experience he had with a spider the other day. I asked him if I could share it with you all and he said yes. It’s something to think about. So, in his own words, here we go:

I was sitting outside doing work since my computer was not working right and I had to do the work the old way of paper and pen. As I was sitting there working I saw this spider start to make his web. Every so often I would stop working and watch him make his web. It got to the point where I just stopped working and was just watching him and it was just so fascinating to watch and I thought how smart because he was making the web right by the light where the bugs were flying around. He finished up and the web was perfect. Then he took his spot in the middle. Ok so back to work I go.

But then a group of 3 pine needles fell into his web and he got scared and backed off, but went back to the center of the web... Then after a minute he slowly started to go down to where they landed and I thought howsad that his web was damaged and that he was stupid because I thought he was trying to spin a web around them thinking they were food but then I noticed that he was trying to get them off the web.

They were about 4 times his size but he kept working on them and moving them and then I saw him cut part of the web and after a bit they fell from the web and he went back to the center of the web and I was thinking “why are you not fixing the web you stupid bug. You have a couple of big holes in your web.” So again back to work because I was annoyed at the spider and was not going to give it any more attention.

Now I saw from the corner of my eye the spider going back to where the holes were and he was fixing them. He fixed them and the web looked great again and you couldn't really tell there were ever holes...

I learned something from this spider.... Life, to me, is made up of all connections and how each part of life is built on the life lived right before it. Just as each part of a web. But what got me was that when the pine needles fell in he took a bit of time, saw that they didn’t belong and got rid of them.

He had no problem doing it.... He didn't think and think about it... That is something that we should do with our lives. When we see that something really doesn't belong there anymore or it is causing problems we should go right to where the problem is, face it, and if need be cut it out of our life. It can be anything, maybe a habit that isn't good, a bad relationship, something that takes us from God, pulls us from our faith, whatever...

Then he didn't just fix the broken part of the web but first went back to the center and then fixed it. We need to do the same.. We need to go back and center ourselves after something or someone cause a problem or when we feel our life is broken. Go, center ourselves with God and crew . Then go and deal with what part of our life that is in need of repair. Just as the web could be fixed, so can our lives. We just have to center ourselves and then go to fix and heal what is needed.

You never know when you may learn a lesson about life but, as I found tonight, it doesn't always come from a book but by just living a life and not closing yourself off from it, lessons can be learned..

Taking a breather...

I've decided that I'm going to take a breather from posting in order to give you guys a chance to think about and catch up on the last few posts. "Being the person you want to marry" alone should have sparked something--whether you're married or single!!

I'm just simply not getting the "back and forth" I am hoping for here and am feeling frustrated. The relationship just isn't reciprocal. I'm feeling used :)

Everyone loves the blog, but only 3 people post comments. Come on secret readers--you know who you are. Let's give it a try folks! All of my readers are very intelligent thinkers. Give me something to think about...

Wasting our time...

My friend Jim called me on Friday night and we spoke for a couple of hours. I hadn’t talked to him in a while and we caught up all the way around. All was well.

Then, on Saturday, I received a text message from him that his mother had a heart attack and was taken away in an ambulance. As of right now she is stable but she may need to have a portion of one of her lungs removed. Please keep her in your prayers.

Things can change very quickly. When things do change, it’s often just that way—very quickly. Do you ever think about that? The crazy things that alter our lives are very rarely the things that we think will happen. The million or so “what if” scenarios that we play out in our minds very rarely, if ever, come to fruition. It’s the things that suddenly occur on a random Thursday that catch us totally off guard and throw us into a tailspin.

If this is the case, then why do we worry so much? If the things that we worry about so rarely come to pass, then why do we continue to waste so much time?

When I figure out the answer to this I will let you know. If you know the answer, please share it with the rest of us!

Give yourself a break!

I am very much looking forward to some rest and relaxation this weekend, and the rainy, windy, and cool weather we are expecting will only help support me in my efforts. I am a very busy lady on the day to day. I have a full-time career by day. When I am not working, among other things, I am very tied to my parish, helping with RCIA (a new endeavor of mine!), being a youth group leader, being an extraordinary minister of holy communion at mass sometimes, attending my weekly hour of adoration, etc. On top of this, I need to find time to squeeze in at least some physical activity, errand running, dinners with friends to catch up, etc.

Why am I listing out my calendar of events for you? Because last night I simply went and got a haircut. After work I drove to the new salon that my friend Liz works at and I got a haircut. That’s it--nothing earth shattering, just something nice for me. After the haircut I went home. No errands to run, nothing to go pick up. I got changed into my PJs and sat in front of the TV and literally had a great time.

Despite what the world may tell us about being "active" and "on the go" and "out and about" and fabulous, regular rest and relaxation are needed--not suggested, but necessary. We all need a day of rest, a Sabbath. Because if we give and give and we never recharge then we will not have anything left to give. Our tank will be on "empty." Sometimes I feel guilty if I lay around. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t have anything to do on a particular day (completely ignoring the fact that the other 6 days of the week I was running around like a lunatic). More and more I find myself saying YAY when I have nothing to do. More and more I realize that I need to allow myself to receive as much as I give, even though I hate receiving and am often uncomfortable with it. We all need to give ourselves a much needed break whenever we need one (and even when we don’t “need” one). Let’s spend this Labor Day weekend completely allowing ourselves to rest, relax, recover, recharge, and anything else with an “r” you want to do :)

Being who we want to marry and other thoughts...

A couple not-so-interrelated topics today…

I am going to share a portion of an e-mail that I sent a man that I recently started e-mailing. For those of you who don’t know, I belong to an online dating service for devout Catholics called Ave Maria Singles. I have met some pretty nice people there, but so many live far away and the geographical issues always stop me from really wanting to get too serious with someone who lives far away. However, on the other hand, I’m not likely going to find a devout, truly orthodox Catholic man sitting next to me on the train or on the street corner, so I do struggle with the issue of if I do decide that I REALLY want to be married then I am REALLY going to have to work at it, hard.

E and I discussed this exact topic yesterday. He had attended his cousin’s wedding Tuesday night up in Brooklyn. It was a true Orthodox Jewish wedding and being there made him start to think more about what he has to do to achieve his goals. When he and I discuss things like this, I always drive home my strong opinion that we have to be the people we want to marry—live our lives like the people we want to marry—before we can expect to find and marry these people. Our spouse should not be given the difficult job of making us holy (you can replace any other word with "holy" as it applies to your life). We have to strive for holiness for ourselves first. Yes, I would agree that if you find a like-minded spouse you can and should be a team that works together to keep each other on the right track and go deeper in your holiness, but you have to be able to do it alone before you “team up” with someone.

The gentleman I am e-mailing had liked some of the things I said in a recent e-mail and he told me that he finds me remarkable. When I wrote this reply to him, I knew this was a thought that I wanted to share with everyone else. Here is is:

I'm no more remarkable or amazing than anyone else who is trying to allow the Lord to lead their lives, but thank you :) The trouble is, too many people still don't know how remarkable and amazing they can be if they would allow God to love them as much as He is trying to. He created us all the same, so we all have that same potential "built in." The one thing that I always say when I give my witness to groups is that the greatest blessing of all in the course of my coming to know, understand, and try to live by all of the teachings of the Church is that I feel so lucky to have been called by God (and somehow managed to hear him!) at such a young age so that I can now live the rest of my life serving God. It's really an exciting proposition.

That truly is the greatest joy and blessing in my life—that I came to really know and want to serve God when I was still in my 20s! Just thinking about this makes me want to start clapping my hands and stomping my feet! With that gift comes great responsibility, however, because yes, it’s more years to bask in God’s love but it’s also more years to work, work, work for the kingdom.

The Lord asks, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for me?”

“Here I am, Lord! Send me!”