Being who we want to marry and other thoughts...

A couple not-so-interrelated topics today…

I am going to share a portion of an e-mail that I sent a man that I recently started e-mailing. For those of you who don’t know, I belong to an online dating service for devout Catholics called Ave Maria Singles. I have met some pretty nice people there, but so many live far away and the geographical issues always stop me from really wanting to get too serious with someone who lives far away. However, on the other hand, I’m not likely going to find a devout, truly orthodox Catholic man sitting next to me on the train or on the street corner, so I do struggle with the issue of if I do decide that I REALLY want to be married then I am REALLY going to have to work at it, hard.

E and I discussed this exact topic yesterday. He had attended his cousin’s wedding Tuesday night up in Brooklyn. It was a true Orthodox Jewish wedding and being there made him start to think more about what he has to do to achieve his goals. When he and I discuss things like this, I always drive home my strong opinion that we have to be the people we want to marry—live our lives like the people we want to marry—before we can expect to find and marry these people. Our spouse should not be given the difficult job of making us holy (you can replace any other word with "holy" as it applies to your life). We have to strive for holiness for ourselves first. Yes, I would agree that if you find a like-minded spouse you can and should be a team that works together to keep each other on the right track and go deeper in your holiness, but you have to be able to do it alone before you “team up” with someone.

The gentleman I am e-mailing had liked some of the things I said in a recent e-mail and he told me that he finds me remarkable. When I wrote this reply to him, I knew this was a thought that I wanted to share with everyone else. Here is is:

I'm no more remarkable or amazing than anyone else who is trying to allow the Lord to lead their lives, but thank you :) The trouble is, too many people still don't know how remarkable and amazing they can be if they would allow God to love them as much as He is trying to. He created us all the same, so we all have that same potential "built in." The one thing that I always say when I give my witness to groups is that the greatest blessing of all in the course of my coming to know, understand, and try to live by all of the teachings of the Church is that I feel so lucky to have been called by God (and somehow managed to hear him!) at such a young age so that I can now live the rest of my life serving God. It's really an exciting proposition.

That truly is the greatest joy and blessing in my life—that I came to really know and want to serve God when I was still in my 20s! Just thinking about this makes me want to start clapping my hands and stomping my feet! With that gift comes great responsibility, however, because yes, it’s more years to bask in God’s love but it’s also more years to work, work, work for the kingdom.

The Lord asks, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for me?”

“Here I am, Lord! Send me!”