I am still e-mailing the fellow that I met on Ave Maria Singles that I mentioned a little while ago. He still lives in Massachusetts. Not that I expected him to move in the past couple of weeks, but the distance still bothers me some.
I actually stopped e-mailing him for a little while. I let him know I was going to do so. Well, actually, he suggested I take a break to regroup since I was feeling overwhelmed with all my other stuff and was traveling and was sick and was feeling bad that I simply wasn’t having the time that I felt was needed to write this kind man some meaningful e-mails on any kind of regular basis. He told me that people get busy and get sick and that doesn’t mean we should stop corresponding but simply means that I need to get better and get back on track and try again. I appreciated his reaction. So, just this week we resumed our e-mailing.
We haven’t spoken yet and that is fine with me. I am not in any rush (hey, if I was in any kind of “rush” with my life, I’d have married somebody by this point!)
I have met a few other men online in my lifetime (but you guys know that in general I don’t really work the online dating thing very hard). I have only really gotten to know three of them and only met two of those three. I had a relationship with one of the two (that ended obviously!), but in all three cases I think we rushed to the phone and I believe there is something to be said for writing to one another for a healthy clip of time and get to see what the other person can put forward in a comfortable, safe environment where you have the opportunity to really compose your thoughts so that you have a little background and basis before talking to one another. I do think it allows for a more comfortable progression.
I feel decent about this guy (if I keep on corresponding with him we here are going to have to come up with something to call him so I don’t have to call him “this guy”), he seems to have many of the qualities I am looking for, but I am no fool either. I am not a person who believes you can have a boyfriend or girlfriend you have never been in the same room with. I do believe you can get to know a person without seeing him/her and you can begin to develop feelings for them through your e-mails and conversations, but those feelings and the actual relationship can really develop only after you share one another’s company.
Does anyone feel differently about this?
Does anyone have a story to share in this vein?
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2 comments:
Hey!!! I think that to be boyfriend / girlfried that yes you have to meet to be able to fully say that word or really title of a relationship. But I also do think that one can fall for a person based on emails and phonecalls... Those are true feelings for that person and you know last year I was talking and emailing this girl and we were into each other and we waited to long to meet and when we did we didn't gel. Yet we jelled on the phone and the email for the most part and I think and please I don't mean to be sexist here but she was more into it then me and I think that was due to haveing those long conversations and long emails... there was more of an emotional release there in email where face to face I don't offer it as easliy as I do in email. Women look for that emotional connection and thats easy to do in email and those phone chats... thats why speal...
Hey Jim,
You raise a good point about wanting to wait long enough to meet the person inperson but having to be careful not to wait too long...
More food for thought!
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