Being who we want to marry--revisited

I need to revisit this topic, mostly because it’s still coming up in discussions E and I have, most recently today.

There are great people in this world that feel they are “owed” a spouse. They feel that they are “good people” and since “everyone else” is married that they “deserve” to be married too. Note my really heavy use of quotes because the use of all of these words and phrases in their arguments are opinions.

Who says we’re “good people?” Who is included in the statement that “everyone else” is married? Why on Earth would you “deserve” a spouse (or fill in the blank with anything else you desire) more than any other person?

I’ll repeat my belief that you need to be the person you want to marry. You need to try to live the life that you wish to share with your partner while you are alone. Your partner is just that—your partner. Your partner is not your savior. Your partner cannot fix the defects in you or fill the empty, hurt places. They are not God.

Your partner can complement you certainly, your partner can enhance life and share burdens and joys—but you must be your own complete you first. You need to live life like you (and God) are going to be alone and fine real peace there. You have to find happiness there. You need to know joy there. You need to have peace of mind. You need to live the life God intends for YOU to live. You.

Then and only then will you be ready to share this blessed and full life with another person who was specially set apart for you.