Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Ten things I'm thinking about...

10. The fact that I haven’t seen Mike Day a single time in the year 2007. Who can believe this?

9. How nice it is that one of the women I supervise invited me to her 5-year anniversary lunch, which is today (the company gives the employees money to go to lunch on the milestone anniversaries—more money for more years—and she only asked 4 people to go to the lunch and she let her stinky boss be one of them).

8. The fact that I haven’t been able to meet up with Trish from Ohio and her family any of the times that they have been back in NJ since I went to visit them in Ohio in 2006.

7. How angry I still can get at my E after all of this time of knowing him when he just doesn’t care about ______ (fill in the blank with almost anything I care about!). How I still manage to be surprised, get angry, or care all boggles my mind.

6. How quickly that same anger disappears boggles my mind as well, although, in truth, I have never been any kind of really serious grudge holder, much less so in the recent years than ever.

5. How different my day is (for the better) when I get myself up and go to the gym in the morning. It never ceases to amaze me how much better I feel all day. I feel happier because I don’t have the monkey on my back of knowing I need to do some sort of exercise at night or feel guilty if I don’t do anything. It’s all over by 6:30 am and I am a free bird the rest of the day!

4. The same is true for when I go to mass during the week. Before we moved our office in April 2005, I was attending daily mass, well, almost daily! When we moved I never really got back into the habit. I have the Cathedral of Saints Peter and Paul nearby (beautiful!) so I have promised myself (and the Lord) I will go to mass at least one weekday per week. I will hopefully increase the number of days once I get back into this good habit.

3. How much I love my house. I have lived there for 10 years now and I simply love being there. It’s simple and comfortable and warm. I don’t want anything else other than what I have right now. I don’t need or want anything bigger. I am able to keep up with what I have and I think that’s one reason why I love it so much.

2. How quickly the summer has gone by and how much I am looking forward to Fall and all of things that Fall promises—cooler weather, turning leaves, football, pumpkins, sweaters, and so on.

1. The fact that a trip to Italy that was planned about almost 8 months ago is now less than 4 weeks away. I am starting to not only get excited, but to also crave the time away in a new place, taking a nice break from work and the day-to-day grind with four people I love. I can’t wait!

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Old friends, revisited

Here I sit at the Honda dealer, doing what I love to do every time I come here--making great use of the free Internet access!

Today is really a very special day for me. I am going up to my old college stomping grounds, New Brunswick, and am meeting two of my dear friends for lunch.

I am meeting Paul. I met him my senior year of college--I was his RA and he lived next door to me. After school we stayed in touch and I have travelled to Sedona (in 2002) and California (in 2005, he was living there for work at the time but moved back to east about a year ago) with him. 2005 was the last time I saw him, so I am looking forward to seeing him again. What's weird is the fact that I saw him out in California, but we can't even manage to see one another now that he's back in NJ.

With all due respect to Paul, who I really am looking forward to seeing, we are also meeting up with Judy. I met Judy my junior year and we hit it off immediately. We then actually both lived in New Brunswick one summer and she was a great friend to me during a very rough spot in my life when everything was coming to an end with John. She saw me daily, through my worst, and saw me come out better on the other side of it all, praise God.

One great Judy story that has made a lot of people laugh over the years was a day when Judy was very excited to sit down and watch a TV re-run of the movie "Krush Groove." Well, unfortunately for Judy, that was the day that OJ decided to have his friend drive him away in a white Bronco. All TV was preempted for that spectacle. Judy, who was borderline furious, then spoke the immortal words, "I guess they won't be giving Krush Groove!" That was something that made me laugh very hard during a period where I simply didn't have much else to laugh about. I still laugh today and so does anyone else I tell the story too, I think it's all because it was Krush Groove...any other movie just wouldn't be as funny.

I have not seen Judy in 10 years. We have e-mailed sporadically, spoke even more sporadically, but have always loved each other. I can't tell you how happy I feel to be going to finally see her again with my own eyes.

Judy and Paul were born the exact same day in the same year and to me they are very different people. The great thing is that they have always been friendly as well, so we are really going to have a great time. The date has been a long time coming, because we were originally supposed to do this 2 months ago, but then Judy broke her driving foot a couple days before!

A day like today reminds me how very blessed I am that I have so many people in my life, a lot really, but, more important than the number is the fact that I give and receive love from all of these people, in various ways, whether I see them weekly or I see them every 10 years.

We always pick right up where we left off, and that is a gift. I don't care how often you are able to speak to me or see me. As long as you are able to love me and respect me from wherever it is that you are--then you will always be a friend of mine, no matter what.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

An open letter to Jermaine

Dear Jermaine,

Your birthday is just a week away and I have no idea where you are this year or how I can reach you right now, so my only recourse is to use my blog. Luckily, I do know you stop by and read about my goings on when you have the opportunity.

Where are you these days? I know that you and your brothers moved, and I think you moved back to the Morristown area, but I don’t know exactly where and I have no phone number for you presently. The e-mail addresses I have for you seem to be old. Maybe you can make sure you get in touch with me to provide me up-to-date contact info in case I need to contact you with some news of important happenings.

I hope that the Lord continues to bless you and your family. I hope that you celebrate your birthday this year in good health and with the utmost happiness and peace in your heart and mind. I pray that God continues to use you to inspire others around you with your positive outlook and your joy.

Thank you Jermaine for the gift that you have been in my life, for the ways you have loved me and taken care of me over the years, near and far. I will never forget the different ways you looked out for me and protected me when we lived together at Rutgers. I was so blessed to have a protector, confidant, and dear friend in you. You loved me when I loved people who didn’t love me back they way the should have. You loved me when I wasn’t acting like I loved myself. You always made me feel like I was a strong woman—very beautiful, and positive. That support during those formative years up until the present day has helped me in my journey to become the woman I am today and the woman I hope to one day be.

I love you JER-MAINE. I miss you. Happy birthday. May our God bless you and keep you safe. As ever, you remain in my prayers.

Love, L

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Getting back in the saddle

Well folks, I am getting myself back in the saddle. I have decided that if I am going to actually have a profile up on the Internet, then I actually have to go onto the Web site and meet people and not sit and wait for people to contact me.

After some false starts and one relationship that ended badly through a site that called itself “Catholic,” but wasn’t really too much so, I joined a very conservative Catholic dating Web site where, at the time of signing up, everyone 1) pays a high membership fee—you get a lifetime membership as a result and I believe the higher fee weeds out a LOT of riffraff, ie, non-serious jokers, and I am all for that. It makes searches easier. 2. You know at the time of sign up that the members are all marriage-minded (we aren’t looking for hook ups here, obviously, and if you are, you are going to be sorely disappointed, let me tell you!). 3. You are asked a series of real questions about the Catholic faith—Where do you stand on contraception? Are you eligible to marry in the Catholic Church? How do you view papal authority? Do you go to confession? They are asking much deeper stuff than “Do you go to church?”

I have realized that although I have proclaimed 2007 as a year for taking greater care of others, in order to do so, I need to take greater care of myself at the same time. I have work to do on myself and for myself. If I want to share my life with someone (I have more and more started really feeling like I do want this) then I need to go seek him out.

Seek and ye shall find. Please pray for me to that end!

Also, as an aside, I was reminded today how much I am loved and it did my heart a load of needed good. Last night, Mike read my previous post about my being rejected twice in a week and he called me early this morning to find out exactly what happened and make sure I was OK. Even cuter and more touching was that he was going to call me as soon as he read it, but knowing me and loving me as he does, he knew I would already be asleep! I really needed that today. For every rejection there is a flood of love that follows.